It's been a strange year for me and that's pretty much very cool! I like things where I don't know what's going to happen. The only problem is that as soon as something really good happens, something really bad happens too.
I got a job!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! One of my friends tried to kill herself. I have great man!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! He lives in another counrty that I am having problems getting into. I finally find a female friend I can keep more than a month and live with!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she thinks mabey she needs to move out on her own, oh and my older sister gets stabbed.
I am so sick of the lazy assed stupid petty crap in my day to day life that I'm about ready to pop! There's nothing to do to get better. Everything jsut pours down on your head at once, and I'm sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that this sounds whiney and quite frankly, it is. I usually don't pool in with that whole self pity crowd but I have jumped in with both feet and am now crawling myself out of it. I've crawled into the anger part, but it's okay because I remember that that part is there and don't let it rule me.
I am so pissed about what I see every day. I have cancer and there's days i jsut don't to face another day where I know that I've got cancer. But that's the way life is. And yet I watch these people with their petty whineing about their world coming down because some dumb guy just broke up with them. And he or she was prolly abuseive in some form anyway. Man! Can't anyone just wake up and smell the damned roses??????? Just once?
I sit around and wonder about the sky, and how many people actually looked up today. I worry about what bad karma the person next to me jsut brought on thier heads. And I feel for them. Honestly feel for them. There's no reason to any of the worrying and pain. There's no reason or great damned meaning. It's jsut one day living and loving. Looking at the irony and smileing instead of crumbling into some designer clothing wearing bawl of tears or anger.
And the fear? The fear. Oh gawd! Not that. God forbid anyone ever bring some petty faux paus to light and jsut crush whatever self esteem your therapist jsut got you. Cause that's what lifes about. FACE IT! Grab it hold it and then shout it from the roof tops and get over it. Good Lord! Get over yourself and whatever you think has been wronged in your life. I'm sure that it's not that easy because it never is. But why? Ever wonder why things always have to be so tough and not just laugh. Ever been sitting just pissed off for no really good reason and jsut want to kill something and some random thought pops into your head, I bet you stay pissed and very rarely if ever explore that thought to see if it'll make you smile or hell, at least be a little less pissed.
My generation is a bunch of lazy stuck up clics that can't see straight if one of their social faux paus is lapsed. Get over yourself! For once look the other person that's not your "style" in the eye and say Hi. Can't hurt. Hell it'll prolly take three seconds out of your whole miserable day, and then what. Well, you might be surprised and either get way to much info or a shocked look that's just funny. Laugh at either or and mabey you have a new friend that will teach you about a whole new world you never knew existed right under the one you've been living in.
This is just me. Except no substitutes. There's nothing like me but then, there's nothing like you. Even if you're a gap wearing consumer driven piece of stuck up Daddies girl or boy. Just face it, you'll never be completely diffrent because that's what everyone is trying to do, but no matter how hard you try, you'll never be like anyone else either. Don;t let others choose your clothing for you. Take a breath and scream, in a church, mall or hell my favorite spot is the kitchen. But remember above all to laugh. There's nothing like it and it'll keep you young.