And bad grief and regualr grief and hell why not happy grief
I'm not saying that anyones life has been lessend by the thing i have been saying or that i hate everyone. I hate hardly anyone. I know what love is and think that if you love someone, anyone, you can't truely hate. That might jsut be me.
I know what kind of life I have had and part of it, a big part, has been my own stupid doing. Now with health problems and other things that I can't or couldn't control it's been even harder and if I had to do it over again..................., I doubt I would do much diffrent. I grow every day and can see the world in true beauty which most can't see. That's something I thank "the powers that be" for every day.
I try not to judge as much as possible and laugh as much as possible. I also try to get others to laugh too. I have explained this many times before. Prolly in most of my blogs. I will continue on this course. I want everyone to laugh and see the simple joy that is life and how very complicated it is to stress. Now that doesn't make me better than everyone and yes I do sweat the small stuff. But I try really hard to see the bigger picture. But i am human.
The point of my blogs is to get things out of head. Yes, it does help that millions upon billions of people can read them at will. That's actually a comforting thought while I am writing. Do I expect great things? No. I don't even expect most to remember me. Or my rants, because that's mostly what I have done so far.
I don't try to offend anyone, in fact I try not to. If anyone is, true to form, piss off. This is my personal domain to take out or get out anything I'd like to. This is where I come to make sure that the things crowding my head get noticed, even if I know they don't. The few comments I have had over any of my blogs have startled me at best.
Someone reading my work???? Holy crap! Who would have thought!?!
I post things that mean something to me at the time. Now things later might change or I might see a diffrent view. These are not uncommen things in my world because I try so hard to be the better person. That's the only reaosn i am alive today and I don't take it for granted.
I know that my sob story could possibly make some stop and think kindly on me or mabey even try to help or pity me. These are thing i try not to have. If people want to know me. Then they'll damned well want to know me for me and no0t for what i have lived through. I have plenty more stories that are far worse than my little sob story of an American teen and otherwise. Being American I can still be put through a few ringers but not like most of the world. I have study and know this for fact. My sob story will not help nor will the pity that mayt come of it.
Now there might be people who can help with the other stuff and mabey one day I will become brave enough to share. But this whole blog thing is still new to me and I have not the courage to open up myself to that many potential viewers yet. Hell, I have issues opening up like that to friends and family.
The whole thing about blogging that makes it so important in my life is that yes, people can learn about me but they truely don't know me and could pass me by on the street and never really know that it's me they're looking at. That in it'self lends tons of courage to blurt out anything I'd like to. Like now.
I have had swome concerned people and some that have been offended. Thank you all for reading but keep in mind, there are always other things at work that you can't possibly know. But please, don;t stop reading, I'm sure to think of some new damned thing to write about sooner or later. I can be amuseing when I think about it. But take it with a grain of salt and remember that I have a humor that irony is most fond of. Which is why irony seems to pop up in my life all the time.
I hope that even though I blog, which has helped in ways that only some, usually the ones that blog, can guess at that it doesn't cause issues for anyone. I am and always will be me. There's little changing that, but at the same time I do try to grow. The better person is always waiting to be on the other side.
So to everyone, Talk shit, talk nice, comment (please) and remember that irony makes me laugh. I am strong and friendly if not a little on the bitchy side. But always, always, please, remember, this is more for me than you. Even though, dear reader, without you, there'd be no me.