Well let's see, where did I leave off? Oh yes gang central and sex and drugs. I remember now........,
Good place to start. I had forgotten to state that most of the time I was a happy child and yes I was happy in my family. I am a middle child and true to form I have middle child syndrom. To a fault! I am the "black sheep" and have a temper that can call down the fires of hell if I want. With the lungs of a singing swimmer I can yell over two blocks easy and there's no one better than me at pushing buttons. It has actually become a nick name. Heh! Talk about irony.
Anyway, I was hell on my sister. Oh ever was I hell on my older sister. She was everything I wanted to be and not that I would have ever told her that. Hell No! I was so jealous of everything she was or could be that I fought with her. Not just yelling but fist and this one time weapons. But that's all I'll say about the weapons part. I remember pulling her hair out of her head so badly she had bald spots and bled. I would take hand fulls.
My little sister and brother would hide in a room when it got too bad. Which at that point was often. Man I was soo jealous. She's so perfect and beautiful! Long blond hair, green eyes, perfect skin, big boobs. She was always smart, book smart that is. She could talk with the adults of our lives then and feel normal, I always felt like a child. I found out, she always thought the same of me and it breaks my heart.
Honestly, back to gang central. Monroe Blvd.. Ofcourse I met gang memebers, hell, I slept with gang memebers. I even got jumped in once. God that sucked! I remember the pep talk. "Just keep your head up no matter what." GGGRRREEEEAAAATTTT! I made it through the other side and was protected. Sort of.
Being the flirt I was I was never safe. There was this one guy, Matt Rackem. Oh my how beautiful he was. Still makes my heart beat fast. There was jsut one small catch. His sister was in the opposite gang from me. And that two date love affair caused more fights and guilt than I had ever had to live with. After that I found the stoners more to my likeing . Still not leaving my protection behind I hung mostly with the outcasts.
Then I met this boy, Jason. Jason was a "good" boy. With all his Mormon friends and perfect life. Yea perfect, as long as his parents didn't find out everything was perfect. Right up to the date rape with his friends. He was perfect. But I was a stoner, a known flirt, which in high school means slut, I didn't tell anyone until I left the state. No one that knows him would believe anyway. He was perfect, right up until his parents found cocain in his room. That was the last I ever heard about him. And there went perfect Jason and his five perfect friends.
I have to mention just for the name, William Bates. Billy bates we all called him. Or to taunters, Master Bates. Original huh? Yea well, high school kids. He was a true friend. Never hit me or put me down. Was sweet nice and totally had a crush on me. I couldn't stand him. He was so NICE. You know?! Not at all the bad boy I wanted. still at this point I hadn't had enough of bad boys. One would figure I would have gotten the hint. Nope still years later not that great of score with the good ones.
Well, with the stoners I found parties. I ran away alot. I'd go and get high or drunk and end up dancing on a table or floor in a crappy apartment, getting money for just "having fun". Oh yea I could pick them!
My parents tried everything they could to stop me, foster care, even locking me up in a mental instetution for a time. Yucky! But I left with flying colors. Woo hoo!
My parents were good parents but you just can't teach one that doesn't want to be taught. When my Dad lost his last job they decided that all i needed was a change. We (the family) were moving to Washington State. I was soooooooo not happy. I threatend, begged, yelled, and swore I'd commit suicide if we left. I didn't run and I'm not dead. We moved. That was that.
And it worked. Sort of. For a time. My Dad and I left Utah in winter and started looking for a university town in Oregon or washington. We lived in the van. We were a great pair. We hung out at coffee and worried over money together. We looked for a job for him and a place my Mom would want to live. Then when we thought we would have to settle we heard of this little city called Bellingham. We packed up the van again and drove away and ended up in this beautiful little city that was GREEN!!! I had never seen so much green.
The first minute in we looked at eachother and said this is where were going to live. We both loved it. We found the University and a church and we were up for business. Finding a job and places to park the van to sleep. We spent soo many hours in the local IHOP. We even lived there for a time. Finally my Dad got a job. YAY! And I was hanging out with the coffee crowd.
By this time I was smokeing and doing most anything I wanted durring the many hours my father was at work. My Dad didn't say anything more than he wasn't buying me smokes when I smoked in front of him. That's okay i had friends. Yea, should have known better.
We moved into a house, thank god for the wait staff at IHOP. They saved us more than once. I enrolled into school to give me something to do. But I was already in trouble and it just got worse. When it was my dad and I I didn't have to come home. Just call in. He knew almost all my friends. He was the worlds coolest Dad. Every Sunday he gave me money to go out to the mall after church and would drive everyone home. One day we got the good news my Mom and the rest of the family was coming up. Another Yay! I missed them!
When my family got here everything changed. My Mom didn't know anyone. Not a single person I knew or my friends. She wanted to meet all of them and have me home by 8pm. Yea right! From call by ten to let me know if you're coming home to be home by 8. Nope not for one such as me.
When I got grounded I moved out. Not just ran away, moved bloody out. Out of the frying pan into the fire.
I think that's a good place to stop this one. the next memories are more recent and I haven't blocked them. No, I hold them close to remember what I put myself and my family through. And I still laugh.