I am on my way to becoming one of the best tattoo artists in the world. I know this because I won't give up until I am. Simple fact is I am already one of the best apperentices in the business. One of the best my Teacher has ever seen. He's been doing this for 25 years and I'm one of the top three. He doesn't look at it like first,second, third, either, he looks at it like "They're all in first because they're all the best.". WOO HOO! Right??? Well.........., I'd have to say not so much. Yay, it's nice moving along so fast and knowing for a fact that I will become a tattoo artist. That's really cool! But there's always a down fall. We have now been through three other apperentices.
They just can't take it, or it costs too much. or they just don't have what it takes. Mostly it's just a combo of all three. It's ass doing my job. It really is! That's not saying anything bad about it, Hell, my Teacher would say the same thing. It SUCKS!!!!!!! But you learn. If you bust your ass you learn. If you don't, you get dicked around until you get so frustrated you leave.
So under that understanding, I bust my ass. I give up most everything and am always there. Simple. I do all my chores without complaining, I go the extra mile, I work harder and longer than I ever have in my life. But I'm on a payment plan for the money it takes to become a tattoo artist. I couldn't drop a bunch of money down.
We have a new apperentice, Bryan. I am seriously beginning to loath the time I have to spend with him. He doesn't do anything and he's always whining. Not only do I have to do my job, I have to make up for what he messes up as well. How bloody long does it take to learn how to vacum and mop well????? I would think not that long. Two days tops. It's pretty damned basic. But can he do it?????? NO!!!! Litttle bastard! I've been gone on my days off and tomorrow I have to come in early to clean all the stuff he missed while I was gone. Which means in the long run, staying late to finish everything I normally have to get done.
This is all I've wanted for myself for years, something that for the last three years I have tried hard to be. I know how hard it is to walk into a new job and everyone knows everyone else and can tease and play and know what they can get away with. That's always rough. But if you stick it out and just wait and watch you'll get into that swing of things, or you won't and you leave. That's with any job. I also know how hard it is to always hear one name all the time. "Well, Steven does this and Steven can do that. Why don't you go ask her how she does it?? Why don't you just watch her? Hey Steven, can you show so and so how to do this and make sure they do it right??". That's always the worst. You just keep getting no where. Now the person I am just keeps trying until I get there with those people, the person most people are gives up and gets frustrated. Like Bryan.
My Teacher has a way of ripping you apart verbally and hitting every nerve you've ever had. That's just his way to see how you'll hold up. May not be right but I stick with it. Anyway, I got verbally "beaten down" once. Once. That's all it took for me to learn. You would think that most people would take only that long. Keep you're head down, don't argue and remember that this is what you signed up for. Poor Bryan just can't seem to get it through his head that he needs to SHUT UP, once in awhile. Take what he says, learn, think and throw away the stuff you think is complete bullshit. That's the only way to survive. You don't argue for hours on end. And NEVER NEVER EVER tell my Teacher you've done nothing all day. I have watched Bryan do all these things.
Plain and simple, he's just not going to last long. The other artist is already saying "Get rid of him.". I try to be nice, I try so hard to keep in my place but with my temper and extra work it's really hard. The way i look at it is, you need to work as hard as I do because I am the laziest person I know. If I'm busting my ass then you better be too. No exceptions!
Right now Bryan's biggest bitch is that I'm there a full day and he's there only a half day. That' would be a good arguement if only he hadn't have spent only two hours at the shop doing nothing before going to party with his friends the other day. Oh yea! That was the ultimate stupid thing to do.
Let me explain this:
You're paying someone to teach you an art form that millions of people want to learn. There's five million more people just like you out there, never think you're special if you want to learn to tattoo. To top that off, you've got some grumpy bastard with a bad temper and not alot of patience with stupidity teaching you.
Sure, you have one of your friends come in to get tattooed, paying full price and getting a great tattoo. But talking, as happens in a tattoo shop, you and your boss finds out that they're going to go party. You've been there two hours, and your friend has been there the whole time you've been on shift.
Well, your friend takes off to go party, like he said. Ten minutes later, you get up saying "I can't consintrate, I'm going to go home and get this done there.". Just think about how this looks, even if it's true.
The way I saw it was, I just put in an 8 hour shift and was suppost to get off early because I had things to do and he screwed up me leaving early so he could go party. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! And yes, getting off work after 8 hours is early for me.
So to complete the tale, I stayed thorugh his shift, an extra two hours just normally, but we ended up staying late so add an extra hour and a half on that and 11 hours from the time I started I'm leaving the shopand scrambling to get everything done in time. (I didn't.)
Can you understand my frustration??? So yes, I am the best. But I've gotten there through tears and pain and sweat. Through three hours of sleep a night for a month, through never seeing my friends or family, through working sick and then going home to finish what I was too sick to get done at work because things are takeing me too long to get done. I will never give up being the best. Ever. But there are days when it's a curse!
" God help me please! Make me better make me learn! Make me live up to everything I know I can be. Let me make it through. Let me hold up and please please, help me get over being sick so I can continue my education. So that there are days when I can come in and jsut get my work done without fighting my body. God, please, I can't do this without you, keep me safe and alive long enough to see my dream thorugh. "